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How Do I Discuss Succession With My Father?

Full Question:

My father started our family business in the 1970's and I've been working in it for over 10 years. Though it hasn't always been smooth sailing we work reasonably well together. There has been an understanding between us that one day I’ll take over but even though dad is now in his late 60's I never seem to be able to get him involved in a meaningful conversation about succession without him deflecting the conversation. I'm getting frustrated and beginning to wonder if it’s worth the effort.
Troubled
Answer - Harry says:
I'm sure it's no consolation to you but you're not alone. You've highlighted one of the key frustrations of the younger generation - 'when do I get my day in the sun?'
The first step is to realise that people generally do things for their reasons not ours. So the starting point is to put yourself in your father's shoes. What are his ambitions? What are his concerns? Most importantly what are his fears?
If he is like most entrepreneurs he will have a strong attachment to the business he has created.The business gives meaning to his life, he loves the involvement. He probably thrives on the interaction with employees, customers and suppliers. What's more he's needed. The thought of moving on and leaving it behind may well be inconceivable to him. Worse still there is often that deep seated inner fear that 'retirement = death'. As a result there are probably some significant underlying issues at play and unless you address these you are going to continue to have an uphill battle.
I believe your starting point is to get a deeper understanding of your father and his true concerns. This will involve spending some 'quality' time together and getting to know each other at a deeper level than you currently do. In doing this, you will not only better understand your father's perspective, but he can also learn more about you and hopefully increase his confidence in your ability to assume control.
Your objective is to truly understand what is motivating your father and help him identify a meaningful and exciting future for himself. In short your challenge is to present a case that makes succession an attractive proposition to him.
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